Return by Lynx Vilden

Author:Lynx Vilden
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2023-02-13T00:00:00+00:00

13

Rain

Today is the last day of trial week, then the rest of forever begins. In another week or two it will feel like this is all I’ve ever known, the past a distant dream from another lifetime. These weeks in the wilderness to listen and speak to God. Yes, God in the wind, the sun, the water, the trees and plants, the fish, the birds, animals and insects, God in the reflection of human eyes, God in the starry sky and on the smoky earth. Forgive us, how should we proceed?

A quiet day of fasting, rest, and self-care is what I plan. With the inactivity that fasting accepts, a clarity can enter the mind and questions posed find simple answers. I comb my hair with the antler comb and tie it with a buckskin thong. I brush my teeth thoroughly with a willow twig and pick them with a bone needle.

I move the horses to the lower meadow to graze. Ben and Falcon will tend to them while I am gone.

I hike for an hour or so into another valley away from my clan and pick a rocky outcropping as the site for my solo sit and fast. It’s time to pray for rain to settle the smoke and quench the thirst of the dry land. It’s time to stretch and drink and nap, conserving energy, to sit alone and listen and give thanks for my life. I am easing into the transition that will mark the beginning of the second phase as we drop the last of our modern gear and return to the Stone Age. It seems somehow holy. I watch the smoky mountain and sing.

As I settle down I take the bear claw from my medicine pouch and place it as an offering on a boulder for one who has gone. It is for Jim, an old logger who was my neighbor just a couple of miles down valley. He was born there and spent his whole life hunting and fishing these mountains, lakes, and rivers. A logging accident took both his legs and for the last ten years of his life it was only memories that brought him back to these secluded lakes and meadows. I am glad I got to bring you out here with me even if it was just with words and pictures. Thank you for the inspiration you gave me. I know your spirit is free in these mountains you loved and knew so intimately.

It seems there are some clouds now and not just smoke although it’s hard to tell. They are coming from the southeast but still it’s calm and warm down here on Earth. The last week has felt eternal and I know this next day will bring another eternity as I rest upon this giant flat boulder with nothing more than a small gourd cup, my clothes and bedding, pencil, journal, and unquiet mind. Perhaps I will find peace.

It’s warm, too warm on my exposed rocky bed, where I sit to fast and pray.

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